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Post by Mistress Wisewings on Oct 1, 2008 13:32:17 GMT -6
Put any kind of funny sayings in here.
Here are some funny HP sayings I found in someone's profile on ff.net, one of my fans' actually.
- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!
-So I was like Avada Kadavra and he was like Dead
- I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
- Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret.
- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar
- I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.
- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort
- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape
- I will not scare the Arythmancy students with my calculas book
- Dear Harry, I hate you, Love Voldy
- When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley.
- This icon is off trying to shut Percy in a pyramid.
-Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked infront of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy
-I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmasters office
-I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!
-Professer Flitwick's name is not Yoda
-I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class
-If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
-Neville: OMG I killed Harry Potter
(somewhere in the distance)
Voldemort: Nooooo! I wanted to do it! sob
-Draco: I mock you with my spirt fingers!
-I stalked a death eater and all i got was this lousy potions master!
-I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand
-I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing
-I will not follow potions intstructions in reverse order just to see what happens
-I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals
-I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween
-I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton
-Sirius Black
escaped askaban...
evaded death eaters...
outwitted ministry...
killed by drapery.
-I have a lot to live up to you know. There are so many Gryffindors' to tourture, and my minions can't do all the work. That's why I need milk. Because, ferrets with strong bones bounce a lot higher. GOT MILK? ~ Draco Malfoy
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Post by Mistress Wisewings on Oct 1, 2008 13:33:50 GMT -6
Some funny good friend/best friend stuff
A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, " You will die in seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good freind never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best freind Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
A good freind Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. A best freind Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
A good freind Asks you to write down your number. A best freind Has you on speed dial.
A good freind Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best freind Loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
A good freind Only know a few things about you. A best freind Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
A good freind Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best freind Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
A good freind Would knock on your front door. A best freind will Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good freind hides me from the cops. A best freind is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good freind lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best freind is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good freind is only through school/college. A best freind is for life.
And some other funny and random quotes
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...
-they say "guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, i think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood ther and yelled BANG I dont think you'd kill too many people.
-so, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
-yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet
-save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.
-when Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?
-when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
-when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
-i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
-if asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your ass, why are they named the way they are?
-the dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide
-your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend
-if electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? (Hehe MORONS! For those of you who didn't figure it out...Go me for pointing out the obvious!)
-Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
-you cry, i cry. you laugh, i laugh. you jump off a cliff, i laugh even harder
-everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...
-The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
-When in doubt, make up words!
-Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.
-If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
-Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
-Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes! (Awesome!!)
-the statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you! (...No, we're all insane. They made me that way!!)
-When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
-A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
-Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole!
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder...
-If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
-I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.
-Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now
-WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.
-If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.
-Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much.
-I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
-Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
-Welcome to the internet, pants optional.
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Post by Mistress Whiskers on Oct 27, 2009 1:08:02 GMT -6
Cool!
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